The basics about me:
I'm 41 years old & I've been kinda chunky/chubby most of my adult life. Not really fat, just kind of thick since I was an adult. Maybe as a teenager too, but that may just be my warped current perception of myself.
I was just married for the first time in November to a wonderful man. He is truly the love of my life. I never thought I would say that about anyone else after my ex, but yeah, he is. I'll probably go into the relationship stuff at a later date as I will probably use this blog as a type of therapy. Sorry.
Anyway, back to the chubby...... I'm 5'4 and I was about 120 pounds before I got pregnant with my daughter, Now I don't think that qualifies as chubby, but I do remember being called "Thunder Thighs" by a boy in junior high. Plus my sister was always very thin and I was always compared to her, even by myself.
I never really considered my self chubby & always thought I looked good, but the weight slowly piled on. I remember when 150 was the most I would weigh before I would say that I would diet, then 160, 170, 180, etc. But I never really dieted. Oh sure I might "diet" or exercise for a couple of days, but that was the extent of it.
I still didn't consider myself fat. I carried my weight well. Even though it seemed like I started taking horrible pictures, it was the angle etc. anything except the fact that I had put on weight. When I was trying on wedding dresses, I was shocked at the sizes that fit. I knew they run a little smaller, but I wear a size 12, so I thought 16. Nope, my wedding dress ended up being a size 20. I weighed 193 pounds. How could I let myself get to this?
I guess that was my light bulb moment. My husband is a very attractive man & I truly want to look good for him, but I also want to feel good about myself. And at that moment that every girl dreams about, I didn't feel beautiful, I felt fat. I've attached one of my favorites of all the wedding pictures.
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